Weights and Measures

[1] In the beginning was created the Tun being a cask of two hundred and fifty two gallons whether it be of wine, beer or water.
[2]. It being found that a Tun of wine weighed two thousand two hundred and forty pounds thus defined the original Ton measure of weight
[3]. A Ton being also twenty hundredweight thus one hundredweight equalled 112 pounds

[4]. And it came to pass ...

[5]. That the Tun became commonly used as the measure of the capacity of a ship

[6]. And thus ...
[7]. The capacity of a ship became known as its tonnage - spelling being somewhat optional - being the number of Tuns the ship could contain within its hull
[8]. And in time the total volume of a ship became its Gross Tonnage
[9]. Whereas the actual cargo capacity became its Net Tonnage
[10]. And thus ...

[11]. In the Old Worlde a Tun weighed a Ton and a ship carrying one hundred Tuns carried a weight of one hundred tons

[12]. And Yea ...

[13]. When the Pilgrim Fathers landed upon Plymouth Rock they spake thusly ...
[14]. Verily ...
[15]. One hundredweight shall henceforth be one hundred pounds
[16]. and one Ton shall thence be two thousand pounds
[17]. And thus ...

[18]. was created the Imperial Ton and the US ton.

[19]. But sorely displeased were the traders of ye olde worlde when upon them dawned the realisation that the colonials were skimming ten percent off the top
[20]. And thus ...
[21]. It came to pass that the galleons and the cogs of the old world would also load by the ton of two thousand pounds and thus was born the Short Ton

[22]. Meanwhile ...
[23]. The Tun became progressively smaller, as containers of consumable commodities are wont to do, finally being settled as containing two hundred and ten imperial gallons
[24]. And thus ...

[25]. Was created the first confusion, the Tun now weighing around seventeen hundredweight in England or a little over eighteen hundredweight in the colonies and rather less than a a Ton be it Imperial, US or Short

[26]. And so matters did rest for a time until ...

[27]. The tribes of Europe did come together in council whereupon they begat the Common Market
[28]. And the tribes of Europe, and especially those of Gaul, did pour scorn upon the US Ton, the Short Ton and of the Imperial Ton they could not bring themselves to spake
[29]. And the prophets of Europe went unto the mountain and came down with commandments upon weights, measures, currency and counting
[30]. And thus ...

[31]. The Pound was replaced with the Kilogram, the Ton with the Tonne and the Gallon with the Litre
[32]. And it was decreed that the Tonne would equal one thousand kilograms
[33]. And the kilogram would be the weight of one litre of water

[34]. The Britons were displeased by the adoption of Gaulish measures but so desperate were they to be admitted to the European campfire they acceded to the tribes of Europe save only that they reserved into perpetuity the right to drink beer by the pint, this being sacrosanct

[35]. The colonials having long since divorced themselves from the mother country, and having their own campfire, retained the US Ton and the US Gallon also maintaining the Inch, the Foot and the Yard although the Mile had suffered much as the Ton in earlier times and could no longer be considered unsullied

[36]. And thus was created the second confusion, the Tun now being relegated to history, the Ton being two thousand pounds, the Tonne being two thousand two hundred and four pounds, maritime Tonnages having nothing whatsoever do do with Tons or Tonnes and a pound of bananas weighing 0.453592 kilos

[37]. The merchants and yeoman of Olde Englande still, however, drink beer by the pint. Praise the Lord!